The Truth About Self-Care

Self-care.  Oh, the luxury of “having me time”–throwing a bath bomb into the tub, putting a face mask on, lighting some candles, playing some Sabrina Claudio, and eating a whole pint of Halo Top ice cream.

While that’s all fine and dandy, and nonetheless great ways to really relieve some stress (Lord knows I’m guilty of all of the above when I need a break), the truth behind self-care is that sometimes it’s not all about the fizzing bath bombs from Lush or the whole slice of chocolate cake that you devoured on what was not supposed to be your cheat day.

In fact, self-care can sometimes be a very unluxurious thing.

Sometimes it’s having to take a mental health day from work or school, and learning to accept that it’s okay to put your responsibilities on hold for a little bit if that will help you find your center.  It is sitting down and calculating all your bills to make sure they’re getting paid on time, and that you have money to cover everything, without having to deal with debt later on.

Quite often, self-care is doing the things you don’t want to do, but have to do in order to benefit yourself; like telling a friend that their toxicity is no longer wanted in your life, or choosing your ideal career path although your family doesn’t approve of it, or sweating through another workout even though you feel like giving up, or turning down a night out with your friends to focus on the finals that you really should be studying for.  Self-care is letting your pride down and apologizing for things you were in the wrong for in order to be the bigger person and accept your faults.

Sometimes it’s facing your failures and learning to re-strategize.  It is having to learn that you can’t please everybody, and that the things you do with your life will inevitably disappoint some people.  It means deleting those texts on your phone that you keep reading over and over and over, even though the words that were said hurt you.  It is finally letting go of people and things that do not deserve a place in your life.

Self-care includes those nights of crying it all out, and having a mental breakdown because there’s so much on your plate.  It includes putting your phone on Do Not Disturb when you need to be alone.  It is writing down the way you feel when you need a means to express yourself.  And sometimes self-care just means going the hell to bed after a long day.

It is letting yourself be normal and not forcing yourself to live up to whatever expectation you think other people have of you.  Sometimes, it is having a messy room and deciding that your biggest goal isn’t trying to show people what you’re made of on Instagram.  It is deciding that you are going to make a life for yourself that ultimately YOU are happy with.  It is putting some goals on hold so you can focus on others.  It is being honest even if what you have to say stirs people up.  It is learning to love yourself, so that way you can love others to your fullest potential.

Because self-care shouldn’t be some type of strategy that lets us “run away” from our hectic lives.  It is accepting that, yes, you do need a break sometimes, but that doesn’t mean your everyday life is something you need some sort of therapy to recover from.  It is growing every day and learning new things about yourself and the person you’re becoming.  It is realizing that bath bombs and face masks and lighting candles are great stress relievers and ways to enjoy life–not escape from it.

9 Comments

  1. May 10, 2018 / 7:41 am

    This is a very important post. Thanks for sharing.

  2. May 10, 2018 / 7:56 am

    I love this whole post. Thank you so much for sharing.
    Self care is so much more than a day at the spa, it’s doing things for yourself, but in a way that’s comfortable and attainable to you.
    My idea of self care some days is buying the caramel macchiato coffee creamer for my morning coffee.
    Xo

  3. May 10, 2018 / 8:01 am

    Great post! I love that you bring in that self care isn’t just glamorous Instagram worthy things. It’s the nitty gritty if your life that makes your own life more blissful. Thanks for sharing!

  4. May 10, 2018 / 8:07 am

    You really summed it up perfectly! Self care is so much more than experiencing a feeling of bliss. Self care can be painful and exhausting, especially when you have to deal with things that you ‚need‘ to do in order to benefit yourself. Thanks for sharing. I believe this post can inspire many people!
    All the best to you, Elaine

  5. May 10, 2018 / 10:51 am

    Very well put. A definite sign of maturity is realizing that taking care of your self is a hard work investment that needs to be done.

  6. Esther Cundall
    May 10, 2018 / 12:07 pm

    I love this perspective. I think a lot of people have the impression that self-care is just about “treating yourself”, which it can be for some people. But for people with poor mental health self-care can be something as simple as washing your hair! It’s all relative!

  7. May 10, 2018 / 1:29 pm

    Agreed! Sometimes self care for me is doing the dishes. I don’t like it, but a clean kitchen is great for my mental health.

  8. Makenzie
    May 10, 2018 / 3:29 pm

    Your perspective is so unique, and so true! Great post!

  9. May 17, 2018 / 2:26 am

    Great post! “It is learning to love yourself, so that way you can love others to your fullest potential.” This is so true! Thanks for sharing ♥️ ♥️ By any chance you are interested on doing collaborations, you can check out the collaborations portal of Phlanx.com and connect with amazing brands!

    Xoxo,
    Tiffany

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